Accidents
by chibikaty
Summary: Ban receives one of those annoying birthday presents that you can’t throw away but you don’t want to keep.
1. Chapter 1

Accidents

Summary: Ban receives one of those annoying birthday presents that you can't throw away but you don't want to keep

Accident of Fate

Midou Ban sat at his usual table at the Honky Tonky, eying the table with deep displeasure. It wasn't his half-finished meal that he was staring at- it was to odd shaped piece of cloth next to it.

The cloth was about five inches long and half an inch wide, with two tube-like openings on either end. It curved in the middle and was thicker at the ends. It was colored bright purple with a pattern of little pink flowers. The device was designed to attach to one end of someone's glasses, wrap around their head, then attach to the other earpiece. It was supposed to keep someone's glasses from falling off.

It was not something the cool Midou Ban would be caught dead wearing.

As if reading his thoughts, Paul said pointedly, "You know Ginji will be very disappointed if you never use his birthday present for you."

"He'll get over it," Ban growled.

Paul continued relentlessly, "Ginji come to me begging for work in order to make money for your birthday. I didn't need any help, especially from that klutz, so I tried to discourage him by giving him the most unpleasant jobs I could think of. Then I subtracted twice the value of everything he broke from his meager wages. He just kept coming back, working for even longer hours. Just to get you a birthday present."

"But what possessed him to get me _that_!?"

"He said it would keep you glasses from falling off when you fight. Plus, he'd noticed you often seemed to push up your glasses after a retrieval. He wanted to get you a purple one to match your purple shades, and the flowered one was all he could find."

Ban groaned. Didn't Ginji know that pushing up his glasses was his cool signature move after he used his evil eye? He needed to pull down his glasses for the Jagan to work! Aggressively, he asked, "If you knew all this, why didn't you stop him from buying something so ugly?"

"He didn't tell me until after he'd bought them, and at that point I couldn't bring myself to burst his bubble."

Ban understood the feeling all too well. Deliberately or not, his partner knew just how to tug at people's heart strings. And he cried easily. But what was Ban supposed to do? Wear the dreaded things, apparently.

Obviously this was yet another trial brought on by his cursed fate.

As he sat at the table, poking at his food and trying to resign himself to the situation, Natsumi appeared, carrying a cup of coffee. "Your order is here," she called cheerfully- then tripped and spilled the drink.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay."

"But your cloth thingy, it's ruined!"

A smile began to spread across Ban's face. "So it is. And I can't wear it if it's ruined."

"I'm so sorry-"

"Natsumi, you're a life saver!" Ban ran out of the restaurant, laughing maniacally.

Natsumi stared after him, open-mouthed. "Master…"

"Yes?"

"Ban-san left without paying for his meal…"

Paul sweatdropped. "I suppose I could let him off this time. After all, you did spill his coffee. Although he actually should have been paying you extra for that."

"Master, what do you mean?"

"Never mind. Just put it on his tab."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Get Backers

Accidental Victory

"…so that's how it happened," Ban explained to his partner. "Sorry, but the glasses strap was ruined."

"You shouldn't apologize to me, Ban-chan! It was your present that was destroyed! I'm sorry!"

"It's okay." Ban tried to look genuinely sad, and failed miserably. Fortunately, Ginji didn't notice. And it wasn't until he left the room that Ban began to celebrate.

His happy dance was cut off abruptly when Ginji reappeared a few minutes later. "Look what Kazu-chan gave me!" he declared. "It's stain remover!"

Ban's smile froze on his face.

It was just a few days later that they ran into Akabane on one of their transporting jobs. This happened a lot, since Akabane often took jobs just because he knew they were going to be involved. This time, they were enemies.

Ban thought that he had gotten away clean, but Akabane had found him anyway. Unfortunately, they had to complete the job by a certain time or receive half pay. He'd told Ginji to take the crate they were retrieving to the client while he distracted Akabane. Ginji had protested, but not too hard since he didn't want to be the one to face Akabane. But Ban had every confidence in his ability to deal with anyone, including the infamous Dr. Jackal.

The black trench coat wearer was making his way towards Ban now.

"We meet again," he purred, "Shall we finally finish our often interrupted fight? I've been preparing for- what are you wearing on your head?"

Ban ground his teeth. "They keep my glasses from falling off. They're very practical."

Dr. Jackal began to laugh. Ban had heard him laugh softly in the past, usually after killing someone. But this was different. This was a loud, hearty sound that kept going long after he should have needed to stop and breathe. Soon, Akabane was bent of double, his shoulders shaking with mirth.

Ban vowed that as soon as he looked up, he would be hit with a very nasty vision. If Ban could get his glasses off…

He was still wrestling with the flowery purple strap when Akabane regained his composure. He instantly dropped into combat position, but the other only smiled and said, "I believe I have been… _entertained_ enough today. I hope we meet again soon, Midou Ban." And with that, he turned and left.

Ban growled.

Shortly afterwards, the glasses suspenders had an accident that they couldn't recover from.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I still don't own Get Backers

Make It Look Like An Accident

One year later:

Ginji walked into the Honky Tonky, carrying a black box.

"Is that the glasses polish you're getting Ban for his birthday?" Paul asked.

Ginji nodded. "He kept hinting that he wanted that, as opposed to absolutely anything else."

Ban was getting a little wiser, Paul thought.

"And look what came with them! For free!" Ginji held up a piece of cloth identical to the one he got last year, except this one was neon green.

Paul sweatdropped. "I suppose you intend to give that to Ban as well?"

"Of course! It can replace the one he used to have, remember? He inadvertently set fire to it with his cigarette lighter."

Paul actually felt sorry for Ban- enough to attempt to rescue him. "Look, Ginji, you never have enough money to buy birthday presents for all your friends, right?"

Ginji turned chibi. "I can't even afford materials to hand make them something."

"So give the glasses…thingy to someone else. I know you have other friends who could use it."

Ginji stared at Paul, sizing up his glasses.

"NOT ME! I mean, you want the present to be a surprise, right?" Paul hastened to add.

Ginji thought for a second. "You're right! And I know someone who has a birthday next month! Thanks, Paul!"

As Ginji dance out of the café, Paul thought to himself _Ban owes me one. But so does some other poor soul. Maybe I'd better keep my part in this a secret…_

xxx

One month later:

Juubei stared at the green horror. Blind or not, he could still tell it was ugly. "No. No no no no no no!"

"But you'll hurt Ginji's feelings," Kazuki pointed out.

"What about my feelings?"

"Do it for me," Kazuki said, looking up at him entreatingly. With eyes of steel. The last time he'd looked like that, Juubei had been objecting to seeing a dentist for his sore tooth. The needle master had ended up tied to the dentist's chair with iron thread. Unfortunately, Juubei hadn't been able to beat Kazuki in a fight even before he lost his eyesight.

But still…"What if they're destroyed somehow and I can't wear them? Would that be all right?"

Kazuki frowned, but decided to relent. He wouldn't want to put on something like that, either. "Just make it look like an accident."

xxx

Not long after that, a certain store in Japan that sold glasses (and glasses accessories) was burned down. Arson or just bad karma? No one knows.


End file.
